Chaos Page 5

  Shane held it out of her reach. “Not so fast, Pixie Queen. I demand a real kiss, not whatever that thing was that you just tried to pass off as one.” With his free hand, he snagged her and pulled her against his chest. Holding her gaze, he slowly lowered his head until his was just a breath away from hers. “I’m waiting.”

  “Damn you, McKade,” she growled as she reached up and forced his head down to close the distance between them. Meeting his lips, she kissed him with ferocious intensity. When she began to feel as if they would both spontaneously combust, she forced herself to back away. “Satisfied?”

  “No,” he tired to regain the conversation, “but I will be soon enough.” He handed her the plate and pointed to the syrup on the counter.

  When Alyssa realized he was watching her douse her breakfast, she warned, “Not one word, I mean it.”

  “Who me? If you want to go into sugar shock, that’s up to you. I have to warn you though. I’m going to avail myself of your body even if you pass out so maybe you want to avoid some of that. I’d like you to enjoy it too.”

  “You’re such a pig,” she said, laughing to take away any harshness.

  When they were settled on the sofa, he started the video from the beginning. They watched as Jordan played on the beach with one of the blue-footed birds that Max was so fascinated with. “He’d bring one home with him if he could,” Shane said quietly.

  “I think he’d do anything for that little boy,” Alyssa agreed. “I wish they could find the cure for him. I know they won’t, not in time anyway but I can’t help it.”

  “I know what you mean. At least we all got the chance to know him. He really is the best kid ever, isn’t he?”

  “Yeah. I was surprised that he was Jordan’s best man instead of you or Brett. I guess it makes sense though. I mean, that way he didn’t have to choose between the two of you and neither of you could possibly mind.”

  “Yes and no. I told Jordan that he should ask Brett. He’s been a better friend over the years than I was at times. It would have been right for him to have Brett.”

  “And I’d bet Brett told him to ask you, now that you got over judging him. Your brother’s a great guy, McKade. I’m glad Kiley found him.” They returned their focus to the video where they saw Kiley spreading out a picnic while the bird watched. Jordan must have put the camera on a rock because he joined her on the blanket. They both had some words for Max before they ate, alternating between looking into the camera and at each other. When the couple said goodbye, promising to visit Max as soon as they were home, the video ended. “Wow. Did you see how happy they look?”

  “Yeah, in love too. And that was made for a kid. Imagine how they look at each other when they’re not thinking ‘PG’.”

  “I wish…” She let her voice dwindle into nothing.

  “What do you wish? What’s going on in that adorable head of yours, Campini?” Shane took the empty plates to the sink.

  Adorable? Must be the effect of watching Kiley and Jordan. “Nothing really. I was just thinking out loud. I can’t imagine me acting like that.”

  “Me either,” Shane stated without thinking. When he noticed her frown, he quickly added, “What I meant was that every couple is different. You’re too mad all the time to act that soft. Too hyper too. I think, even if you were that much in love, you’d still be yelling about it instead of sighing the way your cousin does. I don’t think you do mellow except when you’re completely satiated and about to pass out from exhaustion.”

  “I might be offended by that if I let myself think about it. But I’m not willing to waste my time over your opinion on this. After all, it’s not like you’re an expert on love, is it, McKade?”

  “You got me there.” He rolled his eyes at her. “In fact, this whole discussion is probably a waste of time when we consider our alternative plan. We could go back to bed and see about that satisfaction you implied earlier.” When she laughed, he couldn’t resist tossing her over his shoulder and striding toward the bedroom.

  Chapter Six

  “I’m going to grab a shower. Why don’t you relax for a few minutes?” Shane was overcome with the need to distance himself from Alyssa, if only for a brief time. The feelings that had started to swirl through him were too intense. He relished the spontaneous, combustible passion when they had sex. He’d already admitted to himself that everything they did together was so much better than he’d found with anyone else. But this last time, they’d gone slowly and taken their time with each other. Yes, they’d definitely made sweet, tender love instead of having wild, mind-blowing sex. Even scarier, Alyssa seemed to have noticed the change too, if her silence was any indication. What the hell was he going to do now? This was about sex, fun, mutual pleasure, that’s all. Sure he cared about her. He never would have touched her if he hadn’t, at least on some level. The two of them simply weren’t supposed to connect in the intimate way they just had.

  Shane adjusted the shower, hoping the cold water would help clear his head. It must be from the video they watched. That had to be it. Seeing Jordan and Kiley together, talking to Max, was enough to soften even the most untouchable of hearts. It didn’t help that Alyssa’s face had been completely unreadable either. Usually, he could easily read her excitement building in her eyes. This last time, though, she just stared at him. She looked almost as confused as he felt but there was so much more along with her confusion.

  As he stepped out of the shower, Shane decided it would be for the best if he just ignored it. Surely she wasn’t turning all girly and sentimental on him. If he let her see how their tenderness had affected him, he’d most likely find himself the recipient of some very harsh tormenting. She’d already chided him for adding oil to their bath and preparing fresh vegetables for their dinner. The last thing he needed was her to trash his feelings, especially since he wasn’t entirely sure what they were yet.

  “Wow, McKade, look at that bod. You could be in an ad. Or you could have your own calendar if you wanted. You’re really hot without that scowl on your face.” Alyssa was leaning against door, studying him.

  “Sure, Campini, I can just hear the captain when I tell him I’m going to be Mr. March in a calendar. That would do wonders for my tough-guy image.”

  “Think big, stud. You’re tasty enough to have your own calendar. You could donate the proceeds to some police fund. Just picture all the feminine attention you’d attract.”

  “No thanks, Pixie Queen. I prefer to keep females guessing until I decide I want to show my bod to them.” He was relieved that the mood between them was back to light and playful. “What are you doing today?”

  “I thought I’d spend some time in my studio, choosing the final shots for the homeless assignment and putting together a private album for Kiley and Jordan. I have a bunch more shots to work my way through.” Alyssa hoped she sounded normal. When Shane had rushed off to shower earlier, she had been shaken by the emotions created by their last mutual satisfaction. Something had shifted and Alyssa was uncomfortable. She was thoroughly determined to squelch whatever she was feeling. Shane McKade was a sexy man but that’s all. She’d enjoy his body like he was her personal plaything when the opportunity presented itself but there was no possibility that he could ever be more than that. She didn’t have any interest in any sort of relationship at this point in her life, especially with him.

  “Want some company?” The question popped out before Shane even realized he was going to ask it.

  “Have you ever done any camera work, McKade?”

  “No but you can teach me how to do things. Or I can just stay out of the way and talk to you.”

  “You really want to come with me? Why?”

  “I don’t know. You’re starting to grow on me, now that you’ve stopped being so hostile every time you open your mouth. It’ll make Kiley happy if I tell her we spent some unforced time together.”

  “We’ve spent a lot of time together lately.”

  “I know but I thought I’d sk
ip the hours we were naked. I don’t see that they need to know about that. I’m not going to hide it from them but I didn’t think I’d announce it either.”

  “I see. You’re going to be casual and if it comes out it does?”

  “Yeah, unless you want me to do something else.”

  “You do whatever you want. I’m not going to be around anyway. I figure she’ll be over any ideas she has by the time I get back. You’re on your own on this one.”

  “Thanks,” he grumbled sarcastically while she giggled. “You know this means you have to let me hang out with you today. It’ll sound better if Kiley thinks we actually got along a little instead of just having sex.”

  “You can’t seriously be worried about my sweet cousin?”

  “Not worried. I just don’t want her mad at me right away. If she’s mad, Jordan will have to get in the middle and I don’t want us to cause their first fight.”

  “Now I’m really glad I won’t be around. I’ll make a deal with you. You can help me and I’ll even show you the wedding albums if you’ll do one thing for me.”

  “Why am I afraid to ask what that one thing is?”

  “Relax. I just want to take a few shots of you.”

  “Campini…”

  “Come on, McKade. I already know the camera loves you. I have some great photos of you in your tux. I’d like some casual ones. I’m sure your parents could use a recent picture of you. How long has it been? College, high school?”

  “They have the picture they took when I graduated from the police academy.”

  “Then it’s time you give them a new one. Come on, don’t be such a wuss. I’ll do some in black and white and let you print them. You can delete any that you don’t like. It’ll be fun, I promise.”

  “Okay, okay, fine. I give in.”

  “Good, I’ll just grab some stuff for you.”

  “Wait! Hold on. What does that mean exactly?”

  “Trust me, McKade. I’m a highly respected professional. People would pay big bucks for me to take candid shots of them.”

  He stood helplessly and watched as she ransacked his drawers. When she handed him a pair of soft knit cotton boxers, his most worn jeans and a navy tee shirt, he put them on without comment. When she disappeared into the bathroom, carrying his sweats and a shirt, he was amazed at how comfortable it was to be with her when she wasn’t arguing about some ridiculous point.

  * * * * *

  “I’m impressed, Campini,” Shane commented after wandering slowly around her studio. “Why don’t you ever show any of these human-looking ones?”

  “I’m not into that at the moment. I just take a few now and then so I have a portfolio when I’m ready to switch. I know I won’t want to do the sort of things I’m doing now forever. I want to be ready for whatever comes next.”

  “So you just go with the flow? How will you know when it’s time to change?”

  “I just will. What about you? Are you planning on being a cop forever?”

  “Six months ago I would have said yes. But now, I don’t know. I always wanted to be a cop and I thought I wanted to be in a city but lately I’ve started to have some doubts. It feels like we’re fighting a losing battle.” He pointed to one of her photos, a boy with pale, almost luminescent skin and black, obviously dyed hair. “This is one of the kids from your gang series. He’s all of what, thirteen? He should be playing football with his buddies, not stealing guns or selling drugs. He’s just a kid, for Christ’s sake! Why isn’t he home where he belongs?”

  “His dad is in the army in Germany with his new family. He’s not sure about his mom. She’s an addict and a hooker when she needs more drugs. He was with his grandparents but the old man beat him, just like he used to beat his dad. When he said he wanted to stay with his mom, his grandmother told him if he left to never come back. He tried to help his mom get cleaned up but she didn’t want to. He took off when one of the guys with her noticed how cute he is.”

  “I hate this! That’s what I was talking about. How can we hope to make the city safer when we can’t even help that one kid?” Shane sighed. “How’d you get him to tell you so much about himself? I thought they were supposed to leave their pasts behind when they found their new family?”

  “He was the one who had to follow me around to see what I was doing. It took three days for me to convince him that he’d have an easier job of it if he actually stayed with me instead of sneaking around, spying on me. He gave in when I ordered an extra cheeseburger and fries. The one thing he wouldn’t tell me was his real name. The others called him ‘the Kid’ so that’s what he told me to call him too. He said he’ll get a real name after he gets initiated.”

  “You mean after his first kill.”

  “Is that what initiation is? He wouldn’t tell me anything about it. Man, I’d like to go drag him out of there.”

  “That would get you both killed, you know that.”

  “Yes, I do and no, I really won’t, but damn, I wish I could. He’s a smart kid. When I told him my dad was a Marine we had quite a conversation about the similarities between the military and gangs. I know he hasn’t gone to school much but it’s obvious he reads a lot. He pays attention and says things that make it clear that he puts thought into what he sees. Why do kids think gangs are the answer?”

  “Because they’re accepted. If they don’t have any sort of bond at home they take whatever they can find, even if it does lower their life expectancy to their early twenties at best. I hate to see it but I know I can’t help them unless they want to be helped. That’s part of why I’m thinking of getting out. Or maybe going back to a small town where I might be able to make a difference.”

  “The small town where your brother and Brett are going to be?”

  “Maybe. They followed me to the city. Maybe it’s my turn to follow them and get out of here.”

  “You better not say anything until you make up your mind. Kiley would jump all over something like that. She’s finally found the kind of life she always wanted. Her dream always included having family around so she’d be thrilled. She hated being an only child. I think you’re going to find yourself becoming her big brother too.”

  “I’d like that. I’m looking forward to them having kids. I think they’ll make great parents. We won’t have to worry about their kids.”

  “Especially if Uncle Shane is the town cop. You like kids, don’t you, McKade?”

  “I told you. I love them. Maybe, instead of being the town cop I’ll find myself a high-powered career woman and do the Mr. Mom thing. I wouldn’t mind staying home, taking care of my family.”

  “Like some career woman would want to set you up as her househusband!” Alyssa snorted at the thought of it.

  “I don’t know. Think about it. I could take care of the kids and the house. I’d have dinner ready when she got home and, after the kids are in bed, I could run her a bath and soothe away any tension from her day. Then, after she’s nice and mellow, I could see what I could do to build a different sort of tension and we could spend every night having wild sex to release it.”

  “Gee, maybe you should take out an ad and schedule some interviews. Or Jordan could ask women to call in one night when he runs out of things to talk about. He could set up appointments for you.”

  “You’re so romantic, Campini. Don’t you believe in falling in love like Kiley and Jordan did? Don’t you think that somewhere in the world, there is one person who is just perfect for you? Don’t you think that one of these days fate will throw you together? Who knows, you could get sucked up in a tornado next month and land in your dream guy’s lap.”

  “Oh sure, that’ll happen.” She rolled her eyes as she started fiddling with her cameras. “First of all, I don’t have a specific dream guy image in my mind. Second, I don’t intend to get sucked up in any tornadoes. I’ll tell you the same thing I’ve been telling Kiley and Jordan. The team I’ll be with is good. They know what they’re doing. The whole point of me being with the
m is to show the dangers of getting too close and they’re not going to make an exception with me. I will pay attention to what they tell me, just as I did with the Kid. When they say it’s time to move, I will. I hope to get some phenomenal photos but I’m not willing to risk my life to do it.”

  “Whoa.” Shane held up his hands in surrender. “I don’t doubt you and I’m not trying to talk you out of going. I’m not like Kiley. I understand that sometimes you have to do what you have to do. And you seem driven to do this so go for it. Go get the best damn before and after pictures in the history of the world. Just do me a favor, okay?”

  “What?”

  “Come back safe. I think, by the time you get home, I’ll have myself convinced that the sex we shared couldn’t possibly be as incredible as I’ll be remembering it so I’m going to need some time with you.”

  Shane had said it lightly but Alyssa felt like she couldn’t breathe. What did he mean? Was he saying that he wanted to see her for real, as in more than just sex? Was he saying that he wouldn’t be having any while she was away? “Sure thing, stud. That is, unless you find that ideal career woman while I’m gone. I don’t mess around with married men and I’m not making any exceptions, not even for you.”

  “Well that’s a relief,” he laughed. “I was expecting you to call Kiley one day and tell her you were running away with the storm tracker and never coming back. I know his wife will be there too, so Jordan and I can stop worrying about that one.”

  “Yeah but what about his wife? I said I don’t go for married men. I never said anything about married women.” Shane just stared with his mouth hanging open. “Shit, McKade, I’m kidding. I’ve never been into women, not that I mind other people having that preference. I always tried to keep an open mind about that idea. I mean, who am I to judge someone else on where they find their pleasure? After all, I’ve found plenty with you in the past week and I’m sure some of my friends would have an opinion on that.”

  “I have absolutely no idea how you expect me to respond to that.”